Inside each of us is a father, a mother, a boy child and a
girl child. These four archetypes are the facets of our soul,
the building blocks of our personality, and the image we project
onto others.
The most effective way to understand how these archetypes impact
your life is by figuring out which of these four archetypes
dominates your conscious mind—how you think—and your subconscious
mind—how you feel.
Each of the archetypes can manifest in our lives in loving
and unloving ways. Let’s take a look at them one by one.
Loving Father is the archetype that protects, directs, disciplines
and gives conditional love. He helps us become impersonal to
the things that we would normally react to in a negative way.
He makes sure we are true to our word and finish what we start.
He represents the law of cause and effect. He always acts in
consort with Loving Mother. Unloving Father criticizes us and
everyone else.
Loving Mother nurtures teaches, guides, explains and gives
us unconditional love. She always backs Loving Father’s rules
with explanation, and his conditional love with unconditional
love. When she is unloving, she is abandoning and goes aloof
or spoils us by giving us things instead of herself (smother-mother.)
Loved Boychild is the adventurer in us. He is charming, brave, competitive in a healthy way, and likes to be champion. He is competitive to master skills. Unloved Boychild is aggressive, overcompetitive and will lie, cheat, backbite or steal to get what he wants. He always has to have the last word.
Loved Girlchild is the mystical side of our nature. She is
innocent, pure, gentle, caring, forgiving and creative. She
loves beauty and does things with finesse. She is not constrained
by time and space. She can contact the transcendental. Unloved
Girlchild is the wounded victim-martyr consciousness, whiney
and resentful.
Two of these archetypes dominate how you think and how you
feel. They are a platform for your personality.
Think about it. Which archetype do you function through most
in your day-to-day affairs? That’s your conscious archetype.
Are you competitive? Do you have a drive to get things done?
Do you have a good sense of humor and a lot of zeal? Can you
get aggressive and overcompetitive? You may have a conscious
Boychild archetype.
Are you methodic in how you do things? Do you like to make
sure all your bases are covered? Do you respond to situations
in a wise, contained, adult manner? Do you tend to mother other
people? When you aren’t happy, do you go aloof or overindulge
others? Mother could be your conscious archetype.
Are you very creative? Are you naturally gentle and forgiving?
Do you naturally want to care for everyone? Is it hard to stay
focused or on time? Are you often misunderstood or brutalized
by others? Do you retaliate with resentment and complaining?
You might have a conscious Girlchild archetype.
You may be wondering whether you have a conscious Father archetype.
Archetypal Father, especially Loving Father, has been rejected
from our collective consciousness. As a result, people don’t
naturally have a conscious Father archetype. With diligence,
though, you can reclaim and outpicture his qualities in your
life.
Now, consider your subconscious archetype. It’s the one you
feel through and the one you functioned through as a child.
Do you have a need for strong principles, discipline and order, and desire to rule in any situation, but don’t always have the wherewithal to carry it out? Are you hypercritical with yourself and thrive on severe discipline? As a child, were you frequently crushed by criticism whenever you made a mistake? Were you treated like you should already be grown up? You may have subconscious Father.
Do you feel competitive even if you don’t carry it out? Are
you comfortable when you feel in control of a situation? As
a child, were you tough, very active and sometimes combative?
This could mean you have a subconscious Boychild.
Do you feel nurturing, mature and adult deep down inside?
Do you become aloof when your feelings are hurt? As a child,
did you take on a lot of responsibility? Did people treat you
as a little grown up? You may have a subconscious Mother.
Are you extremely sensitive emotionally? Do you cry a lot,
even in the movies? Do you deeply care about things? As a child,
did you like to daydream? Did you often get picked on? Were
you gentle at heart? Maybe your subconscious archetype is Girlchild.
As you become familiar with how the four archetypes impact
your life and specifically influence your conscious and subconscious
mind, you will get to know more and more about yourself and
how you relate to other people. Little by little, you will
also find it easier to assess what other people’s archetypes
are so you can better understand them and get along with them.
Our archetypes are like a toolbox. We can draw upon the best
archetype for every situation and person we come in contact
with. This makes us more competent. It dramatically transforms
how we come across to others and also influences how they relate
to us.
Learning about our inner family archetypes is the first step
towards understanding ourselves, transforming our relationships
and working positive change in our lives.
