One of the best ways to understand why you do what you do—or why your significant others, your in-laws and even your favorite celebrities do what they do—is to explore the universal archetypes that influence behavior.
Carl Jung first introduced archetypes as important insights into human behavior. Archetypes convey an energy, a thoughtform that describes an aspect of our psyche. Inspired by the teachings of Carl Jung, Canadian psychologist Caroline Hanskte teamed up with Brian Emmanuel Grey, an intuitive who was given the gift to hone in on a person’s specific psychological strengths and weaknesses—their “program,” so to speak. Together, Brian and Caroline identified the four primary archetypes everyone functions through and used tis breakthrough approach to dramatically help thousands of people relate to each other better.
The four universal archetypes or energies that Caroline and Brian work with are known as our inner family archetypes, because they are best described through the concepts of Father, Mother, Boychild and Girlchild. Each archetype has a light side and a dark side. When we express their loving qualities, we become our best self for ourselves and for others. When we yield to their unloving side, we become our worst self and end up ruining our relationships.
Generally, people who function from a strong Father archetype pursue the law. They tend to have strong boundaries and seek to download a blueprint for every situation. When their Father energy goes out of balance and becomes unloving, they can become harsh and critical toward themselves and others.
People who express a strong Mother archetype live to nurture life. They love to guide and teach others, and provide stability in any given situation. When they are threatened, they respond by either going aloof or by smothering those around them with a spoiling mechanism. Either way, they avoid further giving of themselves.
People who have a strong Boychild archetype are go-getters in life. They are highly competitive and do whatever it takes to reach their goal. When their archetype goes negative, they become overcompetitive, aggressive, and tend to run over others.
People who have a strong Girlchild archetype go with the flow. They experience life through serendipity. They are highly creative, caring and intuitive. When their sensitivity is trampled, however, the unloving side of Girlchild takes over. They become victim-martyrs, prosecutors who ultimately feel superior to their persecutors.
Working with the archetypes to improve your relationships involves several steps. First you start to recognize how you and other people express these archetypes. Some people are more comfortable with one archetype than another, and seek that energy in their relationships. People who want Mother, for example, are always looking to be nurtured by others. People who have an aversion to Boychild for example, find that energy too aggressive for them.
The next step is to understand which archetype you, and the person you’re dealing with, patterned at the conscious, subconscious, superconscious and unconscious level. Your conscious archetype is the one you think through and how you relate to others in a general way. If you have a conscious Boychild frame of reference, you will be very enterprising. If it’s conscious Mother, you would rather have all of your bases covered before making a move. If your conscious archetype is Girlchild, you see the world through intuitive, spherical and highly creative eyes.
Your subconscious archetype rules how you feel. If someone offends you, watch how you react. If you feel through subconscious Girlchild, you will be highly sensitive. This is different from people who inherit the tough underbelly of subconscious Boychild, subconscious Father or even the underlying adult quality of subconscious Mother.
Your superconscious archetype relates to the qualities you aspire to in life, and the “ideal” you seek in another person. Do you aspire to Mother, to people who nurture and teach? Are you drawn to people who exude the energy of Father and pursue order, blueprints and the letter of the law. Do you long for someone who impersonates the mystical kindness of Girlchild or do you hunger for the zestful enthusiasm of a Boychild warrior?
Knowing your unconscious archetype is also key in determining the quality of your relationships. This archetype represents your rejected self, and you project it onto others. If Boychild is in your unconscious, you will regrettably draw “bullies” to yourself, people who push your buttons. If you have Mother in the unconscious, you will tend to magnetize abandonment. If Father is your unconscious archetype, you may encounter more than a fair share of trouble with the law, and be prone to criticism. If Girlchild is your rejected archetype, you may draw to yourself wounded people who seek to prosecute you for an alleged offense.
Once you know your archetypes, you can move towards overcoming the limitations of your specific pattern. This is liberating and empowering. It will allow you to relate to your loved ones in a more authentic way so you can strengthen your relationships. You will understand what trips you up and where other people are coming from. You will have empathy and bring out the best in yourself and in others. You will truly know who you are and express your highest self.
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